Gonzo Ichthyology A Graphic Guide

$ 29.95

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From Milton Love and Jessica Eggers, the same team that gave you...well...nothing, 'cause this is their first team effort...comes Gonzo Ichthyology A Graphic Guide.

What is Gonzo Ichthyology? Is it a personal, non-objective, view of fishes? Is it idiosyncratic art that is the love child [don't ask] of M. C. Escher and Aubrey Beardsley? Or is it both of these things — a remarkable melding of art and science?

Frankly, we neither know, nor do we particularly care.

But seriously, and if we can just have a little heart-to-heart here, this book is kind of like a petty bourgeois croissant stuffed to overflowing with Nutella. But, in this instance, we have substituted stuff about fishes for that sweet, sweet elixir. What kinds of stuff? Well, aspects of fish biology, fish ecology, fish behavior, the history of ichthyology, piscine sex, fishy violence...you know...stuff. And, while you are being force fed this stuff, we will manage to, hmmm, not tickle your funny bone exactly, but maybe give it a swift kick where the sun don't shine.

Yes, your copy of Gonzo Ichthyology A Graphic Guide will be a treasured family keepsake for generations to come. Always assuming that the generation time of the fruit fly,Drosophila melanogaster, is equal to 9–14 days.

Revel, our friends, in the glorious cover!

So, after seeing the simply fabulous cover, are you still not convinced? My, what a suspicious person you are. Well, how about seeing a few pages – ones carefully selected to give you a misleading impression of what this book is about?

But wait, there’s more! When we wrote this book, we were going to include two pages that, on reflection, we thought were a bit too naughty for everyone. Particularly for the book burners in Possum Rump, Kentucky.

So, we took them out of the final draft. But we were sad about doing this. So, we are offering you, our loyal reader, the chance to receive, at no extra cost, those missing two pages.

Please select from the following options:

Yes. I do want the mildly naughty “missing pages,” at no extra cost.

No. I do not want the mildly naughty “missing pages” at no extra cost. This is because [and do pick the ones that apply to you. It is okay if that is more than one.]: 1) For various reasons, that are just too tedious to go into, I have the sense of humor of a frozen basilisk [the mythical king of the snakes, not the lizard (Basiliscus basiliscus) that can walk on water.] 2) I see the word “naughty,” and I immediately flash on something that happened when I was 11 years old, at that summer camp on Lake Wabbanach, when me and my tentmates played Human Foosball, at night when the counsellors were asleep, with a bag of gooey and badly charred marshmallows. 3) I am instinctively suspicious of anything labeled “free,” remembering that “There is no such thing as a free lunch,” “The only cheese that is free is in the mousetrap,” and, of course “No person is free, who is not master of himself.” Parenthetically, we would wager that you may well have trouble finding a date on Friday nights.

Please pick one of our two simply fabulous editions [or, and now that we think about it, pick both of our two simply fabulous editions]:

The perfectly fine softcover edition. Perfect for those of you who think of yourselves as “just plain folks,” as well as those of you who have lost a bundle in some cryptocurrency scam, or for those of you who earn almost nothing indirectly working for some plutocrat, or for those of you who just like soft things.

The extra-special, hotsy-totsy hardcover edition. Costs a bit more, but you are so worth it. Okay, and really let’s be rational, maybe you aren’t worth it, but what the hell, we are worth it.